Humbly Back in the Saddle (desk chair)

First, I dont know how bloggers do it.  Keep up.  I’m finding this hard to keep up!  Obviously.

Maybe because it’s summer and my schedule goes blissfully awry with travel and family and friends and kayaking and bonfires and long walks and wildflowers and reading for fun and movies and such.

Maybe it’s because I’m working on so many projects at once that when I’m done I walk away from the computer and dont’ think about blogging until days have passed.

Well,  all I know is I have to get better at this!  I want to get better at this.   I think I’ll start with a small goal:  once a week.  Every Sunday.  I will post. 

New Discussion forum for Readers and Authors!

   One and all:  join the online fun!  Check out the brand new discussion forum for authors and readers, hosted by Bella Books and Spinsters Ink (two associated presses by and about women–Bella publishes my mysteries).  It’s an easy site to use with lots of “spaces” for different kinds of lively conversations.  You can talk about books with their authors, chat within the group about any topic you want, chat about each week’s appetizing special topic (they’re calling it a Friday night potluck with new topics posted, you guessed it, Friday nights!).

All the discussions are threaded, so it’s easy to track conversations.

Hope to see you there!

Back at the Desk

I’m back from several weeks overseas without internet access.  Wonderful (except for a nasty case of food poisoning).

Time to do the “final” revision of the work in progress and get it submitted to the folks at Bella as soon as possible.

Too Much Writing?

I finished the book draft.

Whew. 

And then realized how behind I was on everything else–not the least of which was getting ready for a three-week trip to Ireland.  Only this morning, because a friend reminded me, did I remember I needed to update the blog.

When things normalize this summer (mid-June), I’ll get back on a regular routine here.  Until then, happy writing.

Eight Thousand Mile Journey

It’s felt like a long journey these last few weeks, hours at the compute with little quality writing happening.  Not much fun.  But, thankfully, it didn’t freak me out (too much) because I’m finally learning to accept that these things happen in the process.  At least, I’ve been here before and it has always passed. 

Yesterday, finally, it passed.  Finally I could see not just what wanted to be written next, but after that and after that–eleven scenes in sensible order marching me through Act Three of the story and into Act Four.  And I sat and wrote 8,000 words (about 4 scenes)  in less than 6 hours.  And felt good about it at the end.

Even better, I slept on it, glanced at it this morning, and still feel good about it!!  Alleluia.  Wrote another scene this morning:  it came quickly with tension and humor.  The rest on my list are waiting, still looking promising, like they’ll be exciting to write.

Unfortunately, today is one of those when life interferes–family and pet obligations mean very little writing time.  A good friend asked me to guest lecture on graphic novels–a subject near and dear to my heart, one I’ll talk about any time, anwhere, but I said no.  Keeping focused on the writing means saying no, at least at times like these, to lots of other cool opportunities.  But it’s okay.  The book wants to be written.  And today, I’m excited enough about it to hope I can squeeze out another scene or perhaps two before I fall asleep.

The Mud Comes Clean

It’s been almost a week since I posted.  I shouldn’t let it go that long . . . I did put in all the hours at the writing I committed to last week, but it got slower, more like walking through sucking thick mud and I didn’t get to the halfway point like I hoped.  Hmmm. . . hope I don’t die in an accident now, because if people found this manuscript at this stage, they’d see the ugly truth about my writing process!

But today, as I got back to it, I realized why it’s been so mucky lately.  I have a clue–the clue, in fact–the one that the detective’s AHA! moment hinges on, that isn’t right.  Somehow I think my unconscious knew I was missing something pretty important and today it finally became conscious.   I had my AHA! moment, but it wasn’t a happy one:  Oh, holy cow, this sucker doesn’t hold together.  I screwed up the technical detail upon which everything turns!

Of course, my first reaction to this realization was to pitch the book, quit writing forever and start a dog training school.  Normally when I hit really bad spots in the writing process this “chuck it all” phase lasts about a week.  However, I’m trying to urge myself into a bit faster work calendar, so I talked myself out of the snit within 20 minutes.  Then got to work fixing it.

It’s been three hours.  It isn’t fixed yet.  But I have a long list of possible ideas for how to fix it, including my current favorite, which is to have Lonnie, my hero, make the same mistake I did and have it really mess things up for her.  Lord knows I could write the emotional trauma of such a realization with great accuracy.

Mostly, I’m grateful I caught it now, not after it gets published.  Thanks be to the mud which slowed me down until I got the message.

Rosy-fingered Dawns

I got up at 4:18 because I couldn’t sleep.  This has happened about twice in my life.  No pain or illness or anxiety that I could spot.  Just wide awake.

Might as well write, no?

I think my head is full of everything I heard on last night’s live web event from Oprah on The Power of Now.  What the ego is, how it operates in all of us, how it makes us crazy much of the time.  In addition to looking at my own life, I find myself seeing it in my characters too–I have a better understanding of them as I’m suddenly seeing the things they identify with, the ways they act and acquire to help bolster their own senses of self.  They’re all alive to me in a whole new way–their lights are dawning anew.

Maybe that’s what woke me up and called me to the desk so early!  I got my four hours of revision in yesterday and have an hour in so far and still no sign of the rosy fingertips of morning.  I’m feeling positive about getting my promised time in and taking a big break this afternoon.  I’ve been writing new scenes and words are proliferating–things are too long again.  I get annoyed, then remind myself it’s my process.  I overwrite, write wordy, explain too much.  A good trim the next time around and it’ll be better, stronger, faster.  Try not to leap ahead.  This revision is about tying up plot.

It is a revision I need–just this morning I spotted a major glaring error that in six months of work on this book, had never crossed my mind.  It’s so obvious, I laughed out loud!  Easy to fix, but such a sillymistake.  Makes me know my revision efforts are worth it! 

Creative License

Last week I did it–made my goal of being present to revision four hours a day, four days the week!  Hooray!  Celebration.

So, of course, I feel compelled to do it again.  Two hours today (Sunday) and four a day Monday through Thursday.  I’m keeping with my new attitude:  being present those hours for the writing to come through me and not expecting x number of pages or scenes.  Plus, I’m getting to my favorite parts–the investigation gets rolling and Lonnie (my heroine detective) encouters more quirks in her adopted hometown.

I read the most delightful book in the last few days:  Danny Gregory’s The Creative License.  He uses the term not so much as permission to fudge things (the way the phrase is often used) but as a parallel to a driver’s license.  His book is like a learner’s permit.  I just loved it.  The book is about better living through art, particularly drawing (which he teaches you how to do in three easy steps and then tells you to do it every day if you can).  But in many ways you can apply everything he says about drawing–seeing, stillness, practice, commitment, journaling, inspiration, spirituality–to writing.  And probably to any creative endeavor.  When I finished I thought it one of the most spiritual books on art I’ve read, considering it almost never mentions spirituality.  But it oozes out of the way he talks about his practice.  I think I might use it as a text in a creative writing class.  I wonder what would happen to their writing if I required them to draw every day?

Pantsers Unite!

Yesterday one of my favorite bloggers, Cindy of A Writer’s Diary, had this to say about Eckhart Tolle and writing:

“She [Oprah] wanted to know if he [Tolle] sat down to write aware of what he would say, if it was all planned out in his head, or what. He said he didn’t usually know, he made time in the mornings for writing and showed up in his writing space with the intention that he would write, and then he tapped into a still, clear space inside and the writing just came to him. Not automatic writing, he said, there was thought involved, but mostly he just showed up and waited for the words to come.  This is what the romance novelists call writing by the seat of your pants. You’ve got your pantsers and your planners. I’m a pantser. So is Tolle.”

 Love that term, pantser.

I think I’m a pantser too.   Or at least, my creative heart is.  But I’ve got a well-armed planner in there too!  While she’s very useful at some points in the process, she’s a heck of a nuisance the rest of the time.  For example:  when I think too hard about what “has to happen” in a manuscript as I’m still inventing it, I get tense, cranky and slow.  Writing is like slogging through molasses.  Take the last few days as a case in point.  Today even!

I worked well this morning.  I write with a loose four-act structure with each an even 25% of the whole.  This means my first act should be about 17,500 words, give or take.  This is a nice loose guide to keep me on track.  The pantser loves it, actually.  So this morning, I completely lost myself in the scene.  Didn’t overthink things.  Discovered a new character and some new subtextual tensions.  All good.  Except it added more words.  Not so good.  My MS is already too long (the publisher likes it between 50,000 and 80, 000).   The first act is about 24,000 words right now, with the first dead body showing up on page 80.  Dang it!!  

See what happened there?  I had a great day writing, but then thought too specifically about end goals and wound up feeling bad about the inventive stuff.  I’m a pantser and my planner brain is a bitch!

My planner brain tells me that a good writer could write decent prose, hit the desired MS length and plot a story all at once.  Or at least on a major revision for God’s sake!  My pantser self says, well, no.  I always draft 100,000 word novels.  It’s my natural rhythm and my natural wordiness (take heart all you writers who write with too many passive sentences, too much filtering, and a whole lot of repetition–my drafts are just horrible!).  Cutting is for later revisions–I’m still working on plot and I can’t edit prose and work out plot intricacies at the same time.  Planner brain says:  lame excuses.

Also, planner remembers that she heard somewhere that readers want dead bodies faster, as early in the novel as possible.  At least by MS page 50.  Page 1 is better.  And pantser  just can not do it.  Pantser wants to invent worlds and introduce characters first.  Still, pantser and planner both agree this whole thing is about creating a great experience for readers.  What to do?

All of this has had me quite tense.  But today, thank heavens, I stepped outside the panic.  I took a quick look at what I’ve written for anything that at this point obviously needs cut or moved, and then decided to let it go.  For now.  I will move forward, and instead of looking for a 75,000 word total, I’m going to look for 17,500 word acts, so my too long first part won’t mess up my overall count.  I’m going to finish this revision with an eye to plot and subplot fun, then and only then go back and look for reshaping–after all the twists and turns are out of my head and on paper to be manipulated.

This will work.  I’ve done it before.  But keeping that planner at bay is hard.  She needs to be lunged like a jumpy horse, so I’m going to my office and doing paperwork to give her some space.  I need her healthy and fit for when the time comes.

But I confess, I love the creative stage so much more.  I love the playing, the waiting, the sacredness of it coming through me.   I’m a pantser.

Gigabyte Overload

Yesterday I focused on two things:  four hours of work on the revision and hooking up to the first live webcast for Oprah’s A New Earth worldwide web event.  Both wound up a little stuttery, blocked, choppy and unfulfilling.  The writing because I was trying to dump too much at once.  The Oprah show because 500,000 people tuned in at once (can you imagine!) and the information flow was too big for the technology.

I was mad at myself.  I was not mad at Oprah.

This morning, I’m rethinking that.  I wasn’t mad or frustrated with the whole Oprah scene (and I should add here, I’m not an “Oprah person.”  I’ve never even seen the show!  I don’t read the magazine.  I just like Tolle and I love the idea of a huge simultaneous world-wide conversation) because hey, it’s never been done before and technology being what it is, one expects glitches.  I’d already read that the event would be availabe for free download the next day, so I knew I’d see it eventually.  And in the spirit of taking part at the same time with everyone else, I talked to my sister on the phone and we read and discussed our favorite quotes for each other.  It was great.

So, why not give myself that much compassion?  This story that I’m writing, well, it’s never been written before!  Creativity being what it is, one expects glitches.  I trust that what doesn’t come one day will come the next or the next (as long as I show up to receive it), so it’ll come eventually.  And in the spirit of the great universal creativity, I should do something else on the book satisfying, enriching.

So today, I’m back at the desk, showing up for my four hours of being present to let the story come through me.  I forgot that yesterday.  I was too focused on “me” “revising” this thing.  I’m just going to shift a little bit in that intention and see how it goes.